Alive

To care so deeply, about what is important to you, that you come to… not really care about minor setbacks, trivialities, at all. Everything else can change and change and change, but Purpose and, secondarily, our passions: these will, I hope, remain the same. It is, for instance, that moment, in conversation, when there is a spark in somebody’s eyes. And in their voices, and all the circuits, whirring away, coming alive, within their minds. And you know that they love whatever they are talking about!

Moments of absorption. Captivation. ‘Flow’ and engrossment. Our habits do matter: they become strengthened, over time, solidified, into our identities. Our passions matter, so very much, too.

In those moments in which lightbulbs flash, and sparks fly. Electricity.

The intellect: Mind. The emotions: Heart. The eyes, the way our hands come to reveal what we are thinking; when people explain things as though they are letting you in on a really big secret, shoulders pointed forwards. Body. What grows from the core of we: the depths, undefinable, unfathomable: Soul.

Sometimes, this world can feel so very dizzying. Exhausting, and emptying. “Amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children.” [Qur’an, (57:20)]. These plants, in reference to the aforesaid Ayah, will die. Now, how to persistently tend to those gardens that will remain?

This is when, most, we must cling to what we Know. That some things are worthwhile, and are good for us, and that some things are completely… not. My Nana returned to Allah at the age of sixty-something; Habi Khala went at the age of just twenty-seven.

I do not know when my turn will be. But I know what I live for; I know where my golden passions might lie. And I should not think so much about the petals that decorate these endeavours; more so about the point, and the little breakthroughs, and the refreshing dynamism of this entire gradual process.

If I can try a little harder, maybe, with what must be done, for this: work and serve, and perhaps not deliberately focus on self and tangible, ‘big’, results so much… I must have faith that with Allah (SWT) are the consequences of this whole thing. I am but one person, alone, and I am with billions.

Why? in English. In Arabic: لِما, which actually directly translates to: For What?

Towards the things that die, or towards the things that stay?

And… nothing at all, here, really belongs to me, or, really, to anyone. Not knowledge; no place; no thing. If a pursuit is truly worthwhile, it will be so irrespective of what the ego is able to gain, momentarily, from it.

Our passions are what we can lose ourselves in – effortlessly. And Islam is this entire thing, through which one finds oneself – without intention, and yet so strongly, unwaveringly – solely through… losing oneself.

In oceans of blue, and in tulips of red: these things can be, as much for me, as they are for you. And vice versa.

For What is it all? For Allah: the One, the Only, the Eternal.

I promise you this, though: that when you have Allah, you have Everything, and

لَا حَوْلَ وَلَا قُوَّةَ إِلَّا بِٱللَّٰهِ.

There is no power or strength, except with Allah.


With Salaam, Sadia, 2021.

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